Last year I made a Blog For Mental Health pledge. Sadly, there is no pledge in 2016 and the Blog for Mental Health site is no longer being curated, though it is currently still accessible. However, this was a wonderful project (and it ran for several years) and I’m truly glad it got me blogging about this subject, albeit less regularly than I’d like!
At first read, this poem might seem quite negative but – a bit like the previous poem, Forward – it is actually more of a message of defiance, not shame. There was a time when I would have found it almost impossible on some days to relegate that voice of negativity. Now, although hard, I can. This is about strength and continuing to swim in a tide that you once believed could overwhelm you.
Poem: She Said
There is something wrong with you, she said.
You never get it right, never make the right call,
Never say the right thing, she said.
You know nobody likes you? she said.
A figure of fun, a laughing stock,
They roll their eyes when you turn away, she said.
What will you fail at next? she said.
It can’t be long, something else to chalk up,
Something else to regret, she said.
It’s time to go back in your box, I said.
You’ve had your fun, you had me going there,
A couple of hours of spiteful freedom, I said.
I can relegate you, I said.
You don’t get to live in my head, only visit,
You’re the interloper, not me, I said.
You know what? I’m proud, I said.
My ‘failures’ shaped me, gave me my shadows,
Those give me my form, I said.
I hate it, she said.
I love it far more than you can hate, I said.
I’ll be back, she said.
I know but I’ll be better, I said.
But silence all the same.